Lies My Drunk Self Told Me

During the last week of 2014, my friends and I decided to stop drinking for 6 months to see what would happen. Its not that we are alcoholics, but we wanted to see if we could focus on other things. So as I sit here on a Friday night, I wrote down a list of lies my drunk self would of told me. All of these are truthful

Lies My Drunk Self Told Me

1.You are the best dancer here, keep it up!
2.Bachata anyone can learn that.
3.You are way to sober to do that, let me get another round.
4. Maybe if you text or call the girl you like she’ll appreciate it.
5. No fuck the maybe, she will love this
6. I am having the greatest time ever, let me get another beer.
7. Leave the tab open, you’re a baller
8. Flowers are tasty
9. Maybe if I have ice cream, I’ll be sober enough to function
10.Way to fool everyone your drunk.
11. You should be a comedian
12. You have musical talent
13. I can become a professional DJ, the DJ didn’t even let the beat drop
14. I can wake up and go hiking tomorrow at 8am
15. I haven’t had Dinner (You just came from having dinner)
16. Nobody saw me trip, they probably thought it was a cool dance move!
17. I won’t remember anything tomorrow.
18. This is the last time I drink this much
19. This will be worth the hangover
20. I wasn’t arguing with the taxi driver, I was just expressing my concerns.
21. Instagram pictures that way she gets jealous and people know I am having FUN!
22. So many haters out here.
23. She’s starring at me, looks like she wants to dance ;)
24. I am okay, I just need to eat
25. I am okay, I just need to wash my face in the restroom
26. Those restroom people at the club giving towels to dry my hands are cool.
27. Glowsticks make me even more awesome, I know what I am doing!
28. Twerking with your bro is totally acceptable, I mean we’ve been friends since the 6th grade.
29. Ain’t nobody fresher than my clique!
30. Big Sean wrote IDFWY after my recent heartache!
31 . I have the best signature when I am drunk.

Those are my 31 lies my drunk self told me, don't be afraid to share yours :)